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夫妻相处的艺术

Chinese Folk Wedding

相处艺术。家庭的气氛很重要,需要夫妇来经营。家庭气氛好,孩子在这样的环境下成长,人格才能健全。但是现在的夫妻关系好不好?  不好,冲突很大。   我在海口推广中国文化时,有一次跟一群朋友吃饭,了解到同桌的四位女性,三位已经离婚了,一位准备离婚。相逢即是有缘,这个饭可不能白吃,要对得起这些有缘人,所以我就慢慢找机会。跟大家说着话,突然话锋一转,我说:“夫妻相处只要守住一句真言,保证白头偕老。” 那位准备离婚的朋友眼睛瞪得很大,耳朵都竖起来了。我接着就说:“结婚以后,只看对方的优点,不看对方的缺点。” 我这个话讲完,这位朋友眉头深锁,回了我一句话:“蔡老师,好难。”     有那么难吗?   我们不妨看看身旁热恋中的男女,真的印证了一句俗语,“只羡鸳鸯不羡仙”。常常五点半下班,他五点的时候就已经坐不住了,“怎么这么慢,下班后我要跟我女朋友看电影,还要带她去买东西”,每天只想着怎么样让女朋友高兴一点。那个时候心里想着我能为她做什么,所以恋爱的感觉是温暖甜美的。当有一个人处处都替你着想的时候,你会很欢喜,甚至半夜还会笑醒。   结了婚之后,想法变了,本来是处处想着能为对方做什么,现在变成对方应该替我做什么。当双方时时刻刻提出要求,说你这里没做好,那里没做好,彼此就很有压力,相处起来就愈来愈觉得不被体谅,不被欣赏,久而久之就会貌合神离。   “婚前像天堂,婚后像地狱”,问题出在哪里?     就出在一念之间。结婚前是处处为对方着想,结婚后是处处只要求别人,所以就从天堂到地狱了。能不能从地狱再回到天堂? 事在人为,靠我们用心去关怀、去体谅对方,去经营我们的家庭生活。     我在杨淑芬老师家里住了七个月,这七个月我看到他们夫妻的相处,也体会了不少道理。他们任何一方进门时一定会说“我回来了”,屋里面的人也一定会响应“你回来了,太好了”,家庭气氛非常好。如果太太回来,先生正看报纸,头抬起来说 “哦”,太太会觉得回家真没意思,这样感情会好吗?有时候师丈买了菜、水果回来,杨老师就马上跑过去接过来,然后说:“来就来,不要这么客气。”  家庭当中有一些幽默的滋润,彼此相处就很和乐。   师丈很会泡茶,每次吃完饭就会泡一杯茶,杨老师喝了就会露出赞叹的表情,“怎么有人可以把茶泡得这么好喝”。欣赏对方的优点,适时地给予肯定,俗话说 “好话一句,做牛做马都愿意”。赞叹下去了,下次泡茶都不用交代,他都给你泡好。有时候师丈切了一盘水果过来,杨老师一吃,马上说:“哇,这个水果怎么切得这么甜。” 反正都把功劳给对方,师丈就做得非常欢喜。而且不管师丈买什么东西回来,杨老师绝对不会去嫌东嫌西的,因为买回来一定有他的用心,我们要先肯定他的用心。     现在很多太太不是这样,看到先生买东西回来,“你怎么又买一大堆了,真是浪费”,先生很多很好的用心都被你这句话给埋没掉了。哪天先生心血来潮要帮你洗碗,“你今天是不是发烧了”,他一听,算了,不洗了。或者他刚洗完,你过来一看,“你怎么都洗不干净”,他下次就不会再洗了。你一定要挑一个洗得很干净的,然后说:“哇,你这个碗怎么洗得这么干净,我第一次洗都没有办法洗得像你这么干净。”  他下一次一定还洗。 不只是孩子需要肯定,任何一个人都需要肯定,包括先生、太太。     恭摘自蔡礼旭老师《幸福人生十八讲》 第七讲:夫妇关系,夫妇有别              

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Create a new category

colorful unique car

When you can’t be the #1 in your industry, create a new category.   What happens if I can’t be the ‘Top-of-Mind’ in my industry? Quit the game? No, positioning yourself differently.   By having a distinctive positioning, you distant yourself with your fiercest rivals simply by focusing on a …

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Employees come FIRST

  There are three main issues in any business: People, sales, and profit.  “People” is the most critical issue where recruitment and retention are top priorities for many employers.  Many may agree that employees are the greatest asset of the company.   Often, companies reward their employees with a comprehensive …

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Products for female cost 48% higher

The New York City Department of Consumer Affairs (DCA) conducted a study titled “From Cradle to Cane: The Cost of Being a Female Consumer” to research on gender-based pricing disparities in 5 industries of basic products, which are toys and accessories, children’s clothing, adult clothing, personal care products, and senior/home …

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TPPA – How it may affect Malaysia?

TPPA malaysia world map

President Obama has concluded negotiating the TPPA and will now work with Congress to secure its passage into law.  Upon the execution of TPPA, it will eliminate over 18,000 taxes various countries put on Made-in-America products. “With the TPP, we can rewrite the rules of trade to benefit America’s middle class. Because …

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Developing Emotional Stability

[quote_center author=””]Having emotional stability will allow you to be happy most of the time.  You are able to cope with life’s crises and keep a balance between business and family priorities.[/quote_center] It’s the time of year. We’re actively wrapping up 2015 and developing our goals and plans for 2016. Let’s …

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Belt and Road: The Opportunities and Challenges for Malaysian Businesses

Dato' Joseph Lim Heng Ee

market opportunities in 4 billion populations  Generally, the Belt and Road Initiative is often perceived as something complicated and big which involve only giant corporations, government, and government linked companies or non-governmental organizations.  However, through the presentation of Dato’ Joseph Lim, it is clear that the Belt and Road Initiative is …

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3 ideas of Angel Investing: The Jockey, The Horse and The Track.

angel investment opportunities

Build something and sell it Anthony Clarke shared his expertise during the 1 ASEAN Entrepreneurship Summit 2015 on November 20th at a workshop catered for angel investors.  Below is part of his presentation base on editor’s summary and is only for general reference purpose. The Jockey The Jockey is the MANAGEMENT …

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Intellectual Property as a valuable asset

You can pledge Intellectual Property as the form of security to borrow money from the banks!   Lok Choon Hoong shared his expertise during the 1 ASEAN Entrepreneurship Summit 2015 on November 20th at a workshop catered for angel investors.  Below is his presentation base on editor’s summary and is …

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What is a Personal Brand ?

By Ian Lai Personal Brand represents certain values. The personal branding concept was first adapted by influential figures from Politics, Show Business, Sports, Religions, and now in the corporate world as well. As some of the most prominent CEOs in the business world have come out to be under the …

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Talent Selection Processes & Tools

Sim Bok San Talent Selection Processes

By Sim Bock San & Nasser Ismail CBI yields significantly better results The job interview still remains the primary choice of talent selection tool used by most organisations. There are a number of variations of the interview that organisations can choose from. Firstly is of course the Traditional / unstructured interview …

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